frith_in_thorns: (LoK Korrasami view)
I've completed seven weeks of teacher training, and am starting a school placement on Monday. Hilariously, I feel way less prepared than I did in September -- the more I know, the more I know I don't know &etc.

It's been a good term. Really good. I mean, it's been endless seminars and trying to work out what the hell "reflective writing" actually MEANS to your tutor's mark scheme, and crying at midnight because of not having enough extended reading journal entries and drowning in acronyms and buzzwords and educational policy...

...but I'm good at it. This has actually surprised me. I am our group's mascot for nerdiness and tutors have stopped calling on me in maths and computing and science "to give someone else a turn." I've been told by several people in my group that they find me slightly terrifying (and I've given so many explanations to my coursemates of how academic papers work and how you put refs in writing and what the point of an abstract is), and my endless repertoire of Useless Facts are actually really useful in lesson planning and discussing curricula!

I'm bragging, yep. But I can't tell you guys how good it feels to be good at my work again. Oxford crushed me and made me feel stupid and inadequate all of the time and stopped me being able to read novels and I never really recovered. I started my Oxford degree seven years ago this week and right up until then my entire definition of self was tied up in being a bookworm, in being clever. I used to find learning so much fun and I adored school and Oxford stripped that all away and I had forgotten how much I missed it. Except now it's even better because there aren't looming exams and expectations and constant suffocating pressure and emotional abuse and I'm properly medicated for the depression that was grinding me down since adolescence. I still smash into walls of despair and awful, but I can climb them now. It's a hard-won skill.

I'm getting really emotional writing this.

It's just. I'm so grateful. I love Brookes, the university Oxford students sneered at for coexisting in their city (where the not good enough, the boring, normal students went). I love studying. I love my volunteering twice a week, with Brownies and Yellow Submarine, and I'm busy and so happy. I was so scared, before I started this course, that I was going to feel stupid all the time again and be overwhelmed and fall apart. But that's not happening. The opposite, in fact.

I'm going to be a teacher, and I'm going to rock.

OMG

Jan. 28th, 2015 06:04 pm
frith_in_thorns: (.Flail)
I have a place at my first-choice university for their PGCE teacher training course! I've been aiming towards here for years, and I'm a bit stunned that this is finally happening.

I'm going to be a teacher.
frith_in_thorns: Unfortunately, you'll also all blow up. (Oxford)
Wow I am so tired how do I even internet. But tomorrow is the last day of term! I feel like singing ONE DAY MORE over and over except I literally have no idea of any of the other words or tune and the only reason I even know it exists is because my wife-to-be is sadly obsessed with Les Mis and reads all the weird AUs and tells me about them in detail.

You can tell I'm really tired, can't you.

I am obvs SO behind on the talky meme, but will hopefully be able to catch up, or at least keep going! I will just keep working through topics until I'm done.

Also I haven't written my Yuletide fic yet -- I'm still frantically re-reading the canon. I don't know why I said I could write for a hard sci fi canon with literally a million characters and also I forgot which book the requested character was in so I read the WRONG book. I'm so cool.

Also! My fandom stocking is here. I love fandomstocking! It's my favourite winter internet thing :D As soon as TERM ENDS and my life quietens down or at least contains 95% less small children (I've just come from our Brownie Christmas party, and they're DONE until January too). I do love all my small children, but SO EXHAUSTING.

Also also. CHRISTMAS KNITTING. This is another reason I haven't written the meme post about current projects. NO TIME, MUST KNIT.
frith_in_thorns: Red teapot with a teacup (.Teapot)
Hi, new friends! (Also hi old friends, ilu too!) I feel I should start this post by saying I still have slots in my December meme which I would love to fill :)

I have been ridiculously busy lately. Small children in the daytime, different small children in the evenings. I'm still at the Autism school and still absolutely loving it. And I'm there until at least the middle of January! One of the fun things about agency TA work is getting to go into loads of schools and get a really broad range of experiences, but it's also really nice to have the next few months locked down in one place.

(I was sorely tempted to fill this post entirely with little anecdotes of adorable things my class said/did, but they are probably vastly less interesting to people who aren't me and are less fascinated by small children than I am, so I will spare you.)

I have also been reading lots of new-to-me books lately. The Mirror Empire, the four current Steerswoman novels, Twilight Robbery, the Graceling series... I highly recommend all of these. (Steerswoman subjectively slightly less than the others because of worldbuilding quirks that have been frustrating me.) Then after those, a few days ago I started reading Guy Gavriel Kay's latest, River of Stars... and put it down after less than a chapter. The lack of women kept jarring me out of the story. THIS IS A FANTASY AUTHOR I REALLY LIKE. READING WOMEN-WRITTEN FANTASY HAS RUINED ME FOR DUDE-FANTASY. Even dude fantasy authors I usually really like, apparently :P So I re-read Ancillary Sword instead and will go back to GGK sometime later. I got used to the casual inclusion of women in key roles all over the place!

Writing: I am finally approaching the end of the first draft of the story I started writing for nanowrimo last year! :P This is even less impressive once I tell you that it's in the 8-12/YA SFF age category, which has recommended word counts of 40-60k. But it's now the longest story I've ever written, having beaten out both the White Collar apocafic and a long-ago CSI:NY one.

On a related note, I accidentally started writing a multichapter White Collar bookshop AU. I know. I JUST MISSED WRITING THEM TOO MUCH.
frith_in_thorns: Unfortunately, you'll also all blow up. (Sanctuary - Henry - happy)
Looks like I have at least one source of income over the summer! My mentor wants to hire me as a maths and science tutor for her daughter, who'll be taking GCSEs next year. I'm really excited about this! :D

- - -

Still watching Grimm, and mostly enjoying it. It's certainly entertaining, and it has good characters. (Discounting the bee!fail, there have only been two episodes which have been rather DNW for me so far, 9 and 13. First for Nice Guy TM plot, second for embarrassment squick.) The lack of women in main and secondary roles is still incredibly glaring, but at least Parker is very awesome as the coroner and Juliet has finally begun to occasionally do more than to make out with Nick. The CGI Wesen faces and terrible German creature names continue to be hilarious.

My favourite character continues to be Captain Sam Adama Sean Renard - he is by far the most interesting to me. Followed by Monroe, who is adorable. He plays cello! And is a clockmaker! And gets all upset when his routine is interrupted! *d'awwws at him a lot* I'm not sure that I feel especially fannish about the show yet, although it strikes me that it would be quite a nice one to write fic for as you could handwave just about anything for plot convenience, since the show does :P

- - -

Linky post, by s. e. smith: Makin' Me Crazy: The madness of Drusilla, Sierra, and River (mild spoilers for Buffy, Dollhouse, Firefly)

"At the same time that I think Whedon and his writers wanted to criticise the way women are manipulated and controlled by society, and the medicalisation and pathologisation of women, they also played directly into familiar tropes about mental illness. The real crazy people are still dangerous and scary and should be locked up, under this framework."
frith_in_thorns: Unfortunately, you'll also all blow up. (Zundry - Be brave)
Things which have happened today:

I got turned down from TeachFirst, which rather sucks, and justifies my guess that the interviews at the assesment centre didn't go that great. Ah well. I'm surprisingly not upset, actually - there are enough routes into teaching that I'm sure I'll be fine. And it's an incredibly high-pressured course, so maybe it's for the best.

This morning I accidently went to a lecture I shouldn't have gone to, because it was a genetics module I'm not taking. I have no idea why I wrote it down on my timetable. But when I realised I thought it would be rude if I just walked out, so I listened and made notes anyway. IDEK.

Oh, and I wrote a thing - well, actually I wrote and posted it in the break between that lecture and the ones I was actually supposed to go to! I woke up this morning and there was a prompt on whitecollarhc for "Peter and Neal are trapped in a dessert" and my brain started throwing bad puns at me. So, here is my attempt to cram as many of those terrible puns as possible into about 300 words. Again, IDEK. It's just been that sort of day. XD

Also, while I'm here: is there actually a consensus on how Diana's surname is spelled? Because I've seen about three different spellings being used, each by multiple authors. (This is not as bad as a brief period in the CSI:NY fandom where the actual show couldn't decide whether a recurring character was called Jennifer or Jessica for quite a long time, and her name kept changing between episodes. That was fun.)
frith_in_thorns: Unfortunately, you'll also all blow up. (Games - Portal - lemons)
Tomorrow is my LAST DAY at the primary school. This makes me really sad - I've fallen in love with the little year 1s (ages 5 and 6 for those outside the UK) who mispronounce my name and demand unceasing attention. They are the cutest things ever, seriously. To give some examples from the past few days: we had a discussion about what they want to do when they grow up and one of them wants to be Godzilla. I'm not exaggarating. Also, this exchange outside when they were playing with the sand:

Little Girl: Miss, my daddy might walk along the path past the playground. Can you tell me if he does?
Me: Um, sweetie, I don't know what your daddy looks like!
LG: *stares beseechingly* I think he might be wearing a black t-shirt.
Me: ...Okay, if I see your daddy I'll tell you.
LG: *beams and wanders off*

Aside from the children, both the teachers who I've been assisting have been wonderfully lovely in putting up with me and answering endless questions about teaching. Later I'll be making them chocolate brownies as a thank-you present, which I hope will go down well!



I can't be all sad about the end of term, though, because it gives me the chance to have a week's holiday in Cornwall staying at the cottage by the sea of the lovely lily_moonlight before I go back to Oxford. Going by past experience this will be a week of being over-excited about fandoms, which is always welcome!



Speaking of fandoms, I can't find a fandom for Iain M. Banks's Culture novels, which makes me sad :( Does anyone know of one? The only related comms I can find are completely dead. I'm also really getting into the show ReGenesis (biology! genetics! biotec! SCIENCE THAT IS ACCURATE AND REALISTIC!), anyone happen to know anything about a fandom for that?

On a more guilty note, I've only so far read ONE of the fics from [livejournal.com profile] sga_genficathon , which is pretty terrible going. But I've written about a third of my telyafen story, so I may actually get a submission into a fest for the first time this year. Ahem, make that academic year. Yup.



Lastly, thank you to [livejournal.com profile] treacle_tartlet  for the chocolate vgift! That made me very happy :)

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